The Burkiss Way - Transcripts index

… starring Denise Coffey, Jo Kendall, Chris Emmett, Nigel Rees and Fred Harris.
These transcripts are mine, as are any errors or omissions. The material contained therein though of course isn’t, and is entirely to blame on the mad of brain men Andrew Marshall and David Renwick, with additional material by John Mason, Colin Bostock-Smith, Douglas Adams, John Lloyd, Tom Magee Englefield and Liz Pollock.

The blurb at the top of each transcript is copied from the respective episode’s Radio Times listing as obtained via BBC Genome. It turns out though that the humorous programme descriptions mostly stop past series two, but at least it provides a place for putting the key to the colour-coding[1] used to identify who’s voicing which character.[2]

Thanks go to Darren Lee, Ian Zalicks, Andre Willey and Simon Dakin for offering up a number of corrections, and to Steve Arnold for allowing use of his episode guide as a basis for the sketch listings at the start of each episode.

Dedicated to the memory of Tinni, who got me started onto British radio comedy.

For comments, suggestions, contributions, error corrections etc. contact me at burkissway ( at ) buttercookie ( dot ) de.

Episode list

Episodes marked ✔︎ have been completed and are available as nicely formatted HTML files (unless marked ✔︎✎︎, in which case they’re still awaiting conversion to HTML).
Episodes marked ✎︎ are in the process of being transcribed and hence are a) incomplete and b) only available as unformatted text files. And episodes marked ❌︎ are completely unavailable for the time being.

Status	Lesson	Date	Title
The Half-Open University
✔︎	1	25/08/75	Science
✔︎	2	1/12/76	History
Burkiss Way Series 1
✔︎	1	27/08/76	Peel Bananas the Burkiss Way
✔︎	2	3/09/76	Pass Examinations the Burkiss Way
✔︎	3	10/09/76	Escape from Prison the Burkiss Way
✔︎	4	17/09/76	Solve Murders the Burkiss Way
✔︎	5	24/09/76	Keep Unfit the Burkiss Way
✔︎	6	1/10/76	Win Awards the Burkiss Way
Burkiss Way Series 2
✔︎	7	15/12/76	Influence Friends and Win People the Burkiss Way
✔︎	8	22/12/76	Plan Christmas Schedules the Burkiss Way
✔︎	9	29/12/76	Gain Spiritual Fulfilment the Burkiss Way
✔︎	10	5/01/77	Govern Britain the Burkiss Way
✔︎	11	12/01/77	Journey Into the Unknown the Burkiss Way
✔︎	12	19/01/77	Make Short Comedy Programmes the Burkiss Way
✔︎	13	26/01/77	Commemorate Jubilees the Burkiss Way
✔︎	14	2/02/77	Do-You-Know-What the Burkiss Way
✔︎	15	9/02/77	Skive from School the Burkiss Way
✔︎	16	16/02/77	Get Off with Life the Burkiss Way
✔︎	17	23/02/77	This is Your Life the Burkiss Way
✔︎	18	2/03/77	Become a Rock Star the Burkiss Way
✔︎	19	9/03/77	Replace The Burkiss Way
Burkiss Way Series 3
✔︎	20	15/11/77	Discover Gravity the Burkiss Way
✎︎	21	22/11/77	Get Cut Off the Burkiss Way
❌︎	22	29/11/77	How to Succeed in Business the Burkiss Way
✎︎	23	6/12/77	Son of the Burkiss Way
❌︎	24	13/12/77	One Hour to Burkiss Way
❌︎	25	20/12/77	Not to be Unwrapped the Burkiss Way
✔︎	26	27/12/77	First Prize the Burkiss Way
✎︎	27	3/01/78	Around the World the Burkiss Way
✎︎	28	10/01/78	Ignore these Programme Titles the Burkiss Way
❌︎	29	17/01/78	Complain About the Burkiss Way
✎︎	30	24/01/78	Not the Burkiss Way
✔︎	31	31/01/78	Bruce’s Choice
Burkiss Way Series 4[3] (or maybe 3 after all)
✔︎	32	31/01/78	Start New Series the Burkiss Way
❌︎	33	7/02/78	The Last Burkiss Way
❌︎	34	14/02/78	The Next to Last Burkiss Way
Burkiss Way Series 5 (or 4)
❌︎	35	2/04/79	Remember the Burkiss Way
✎︎	36	9/04/79	Rise from the Grave the Burkiss Way
❌︎	37	16/04/79	Is Britain Going the Burkiss Way
❌︎	38	23/04/79	Is Britain Going the Burkiss Way (Part 2)
✎︎	39^A	30/04/79	Repeat Yourself the Burkiss Way
✎︎	39^B	7/05/79	Repeat Yourself the Burkiss Way
✎︎	40	14/05/79	Avoid Like the Plague the Burkiss Way
✔︎	41	26/12/79	Eric Pode of Croydon’s Easter Special
Burkiss Way Series 6 (or 5)
❌︎	42	11/10/80	The Man from the Burkiss Way
✎︎	43	18/10/80	Sack the Burkiss Way
❌︎	44	25/10/80	Love Big Brother the Burkiss Way
✎︎	45	1/11/80	Write Extremely Long Programme Titles the Burkiss Way
❌︎	46	8/11/80	Settle Out of Court the Burkiss Way
❌︎	47	15/11/80	Wave Goodbye to CBEs the Burkiss Way

Footnotes

↑ The inspiration for this was Ib Rasmussen’s collection of Monty Python’s Flying Circus scripts by the way.
↑ Although at the moment, that work has some gaps beyond the obvious difference of Jo/Denise/Christine vs. the rest of them – I’m not super-confident about matching some of the voices to their actors and might have also made the occasional mistake. Any additions or corrections are gladly received.
↑ Actually, this isn’t really Series 4, but just the Burkiss Way messing around with its episode numbering. Lesson 31 and 32 are in fact two halves of one and the same episode, and Series 3 doesn’t actually end until after Lesson 34.
The lesson numbers will get back in sync with the episode count after the two Lesson 39s, but the internal vs. external series numbering will remain off by one until the end.